Duality.

2016-12-29_10-07-16

It’s amazing how early duality of motherhood takes hold. It took me awhile to get comfortable with the idea of becoming a mother, if I’m honest. Not that I wasn’t happy–I’ve always loved and wanted lots of babies, but it felt very surreal for a very long time. During that time I felt like the energy was zapped out of me and I was completely void of any creativity or drive, which makes perfect sense when you consider that all my creative energy was spent doing just that: creating. Telling people helped, seeing the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat helped, too, but mostly getting excited for me required a lot of introspection and personal evaluation. There were more insecurities than I’d expected, and many more hollow, selfish concerns. Now we are finally in our second trimester, trucking along at#15weeks and I’m working to weave yet another facet of myself into the fabric that makes me who I am. I’m tired, I’m winded, my bump is starting to grow and I could literally live off pickles alone, but I’m training still, meditating still (using the beautiful @openheartwarrior mala Daniel gave me to help with this transition), working still and writing still (albeit slowly). And I’m excited finally. Really, truly excited. What an adventure that’s about to begin! I’m sharing this because I needed that space. I needed to hear from my friends and my husband that it was okay if I needed time, that things were changing and I didn’t have to (and shouldn’t expect to) catch up overnight. I needed to know the ways that becoming a mom will only enhance the person I am, and I’m sharing in case anyone else needs these things, too. πŸ’š

#eveningmeditations #yogamom#duality #lifegotflipturnedupsidedown#BabyWest #bump #theadventurebegins#wildwests